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Friday, October 27, 2017

Know Your Worth

Written by  Frankie Kujawa

Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Siggy Flicker wants to boost your pride

As the drama continues to unravel this season for the ladies of Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” (“RHONJ”) one thing is certainly clear: Siggy Flicker knows her worth. The boldly effervescent housewife now wants audiences to know theirs, as well. Known for her vivacious personality and equally compassionate heart of gold, the reality show’s depiction barely scratches the surface of the shining light Flicker emanates to those around her. Flicker’s expertise in relationships and life has garnered her the adoration of multitudes of fans.

“This season you can expect a ton of drama, but also a ton of lessons to be learned,” Flicker explained exclusively to Baltimore OUTloud. “You know, out of all of the ‘Housewives’ franchises, New Jersey is the most relatable. This is especially true for my second season on the show. Last season, my struggles were very similar to that of many viewers.” Flicker referenced the show’s seventh season divide between former friends and housewives Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita. “When I see friends that aren’t getting along the first thing I want to do is bring them back together. I love when everyone gets along and everyone’s happy. Last season was not about me, but about Teresa and Jacqueline – 16 years of friendship. Sixteen years of having babies together and so many good times, and their friendship was falling apart. It was heartbreaking to see that happen. Everyone can relate to having friends and having them fall apart.”

Flicker explained that this season of “RHONJ” was much different than her first. “My sophomore season is much different because the drama lands at my front door and I never asked for it. I introduce a new housewife [“RHONJ”-newcomer Margaret Joseph] and I welcome her with open arms. I roll out the red carpet for her and, though I can’t reveal much, I’m hurt throughout this season. You see me getting extremely frustrated, open, and raw.”

Flicker revealed that bullying and abuse are causes very close to her heart as she has experienced them first-hand. “If you are being abused, you don’t lay down and ask, ‘What position do you want me in for you?’ You must stand up and fight for what you believe in. I’m always a defender of the underdog. I always struggled throughout my life. I’ve waited tables and grew up very humble. I lived in an apartment building where I had to share a bedroom with my brother and sister. I grew up always being bullied over my name. Nicknames such as ‘Cigarette’ or ‘Siggy the Sea Monster’ or ‘Ziggy.’”

“I moved every few years, and once I even remembered changing my name to ‘Melissa’ because I grew up watching ‘Little House on the Prairie’ and loved Melissa Gilbert,” Flicker candidly recalled. “The problem came, though, when my parents came to the PTA meeting and I forgot to tell that I ‘changed’ my name. Once the teacher realized that’s why I wasn’t turning my head around in class, when she called on me, they put it all together,” Flicker continued. “My parents talked to me about it and it was a lesson in self-worth. ‘Know your self-worth,’ my parents instilled in me. ‘Don’t be embarrassed who you are.’ It was very tough and hurtful for me growing up.”

Flicker persevered through those youthful struggles and used those lessons to help become the empowered woman she is today. “Being true to who you are is key to knowing your worth. No one has a right to judge how someone else is living their lives. Everyone has a story, and you don’t know how someone is living their life because you’re not walking in their shoes.”

As Flicker has shown audiences, she makes her presence known. “I’m loud and over-the-top, and I’ve always been that way. I’m a sharer and I share everything. People on the street will say, ‘Oh, I love that shirt where did you get it?’ and I’ll reply, ‘I just saw it at H&M for $9.99!’” Flicker’s lack of artifice is evident in her candid honesty about plastic surgery. “I like sharing about my plastic surgery – I’m 50-years old! There’s nothing wrong with loving yourself – knowing your worth and leaving it to a little nip and tuck here and there. I preach to others about knowing their worth and there’s nothing wrong with taking an insecurity and fixing it. You have one time to live this dance and you have to live your life to the fullest. You have to live your life with no regrets!”

One person who always has Flicker’s back is her best friend and “RHONJ” castmate, the ever-loyal Dolores Catania. “When you are in a group of people, and different things happen, the person who shares your same morals and beliefs – the person that has your heart and soul – that’s the person you are drawn to. When things happen that are out of the ordinary, and very hurtful things do happen this season, and you think you’re all alone against people that can be brutal and heartless and you have someone that’s exactly like you – all about compassion and giving back – you form a bond.”

Flicker’s compassion for helping others came at an early age. “I’ve been helping people since the age of six,” the selfless housewife declared. “I get orgasmic from watching others thrive and succeed. I’m the person that, when we go out, who orders food and drinks and takes shots at myself to raise up another. I love to have fun in life and I’ve been doing it since the age of six. By the age of 14, I had mastered it, and took it to a professional career at the age of 25 and became a top matchmaker and coach. I believe that if you save one life, you save the world.”

The author of 2015’s Write Your Own Fairy Tale: The New Rules of Dating, Relationships, and Finding Love on Your Terms says that she wanted to share secrets she has learned to create an empowered life. “Don’t wait for anyone to come and hand your fairytale to you. You must understand that a man’s rejection is God’s protection. There are so many life lessons from my years and years of matchmaking. Why I wrote it ties into when I learned about my own worth.”

Flicker recalled, “I grew up with a mother who raised me to know my own worth. While we were shopping she asked me once, ‘Where do you see yourself? Do you see yourself where everything was marked 70% off or behind the glass with the jewelry?” My mother has preached about self-respect and knowing your self-worth my whole life. For me, I had the gift of having a fabulous mother.” Flicker added, “Not many do, and that’s okay. I want to be their fairy godmother! I want you to have all the secrets that I have been taught and have mastered.”

The importance of family is a lesson that is not lost on Flicker. “You can’t pick and choose your family, but if you’re blessed to have a good family, don’t just be grateful for it. You have to spend time with the people you love because there is no guarantee that we’ll be here tomorrow.”

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