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Single Black Sheep
Where the Boys Are
By Josh Aterovis
Since I started my Single Black Sheep column, one question has popped up over and over: "These rules are great and all, but I need to have a date first. Where do I meet guys?" The answer depends on a number of criteria: where you live, how outgoing you are, what you're looking for, your slut factor...just to name a few.
Obviously, if you are a city dweller you have a few more options than if you live in a more rural environment. In the past, the usual meeting place has always been the bar. But let's face it: unless you're extremely lucky, your chances of meeting the man (or woman) of your dreams in a bar are slim to none. Bars are usually too loud to have a real conversation, and since the entire point of a bar is sell alcoholic beverages, there's an excellent chance that you'll be inebriated. Has anyone ever made a good decision while under the influence? Meeting someone for the first time is not really something you want to do while your judgment is impaired and your inhibitions are lowered.
Now before you start writing me e-mails, I know there are exceptions to every rule. If you met the love of your life at a bar and you've been together for six whole weeks, then I'm really happy for you, but you're definitely part of a fortunate few.
Maybe you prefer marching with a clever hand-drawn sign, or helping those less fortunate to downing adult beverages at your local tavern. If you're the activist type then there are a few other, more sober ideas. For those with a more civic-minded outlook, find a charity or community organization and get involved. I know a couple that met while participating in the Ride for the Feast, a charity fundraiser that supports Movable Feast, which benefits those living with HIV/AIDS and breast cancer. It must have been something about those spandex bike shorts. Rawr!
Let me make one thing clear, though...I'm not suggesting you get involved with your local fight for equality just to pick up guys, but it is a great way to meet people with similar values and views. As a bonus, if he's fighting for the right to get married, he's probably relationship oriented!
If you're of a more religious bent, there's always church. Don't go rushing off to your closest Catholic church and pop into the confessional looking for a date. If you're reading this, you're probably too old for him anyway. Find a gay or gay-friendly congregation and start attending. Traditionally, Metropolitan Community Churches and Unitarian Universalist congregations have always been welcoming, but lately more denominations are opening their doors to gay and lesbian worshippers. I know of welcoming and affirming Methodist, Lutheran, Episcopal, Presbyterian, and even Baptist and Catholic churches in the Baltimore area. Most conservative and reform Jewish synagogues are also welcoming.
Or maybe you're more of a Gleek. If you were a theater or glee club geek, then get involved with your local theater groups or lgbt chorus. Baltimore offers both the New Wave Singers, an all-inclusive mixed chorus, and the Baltimore Men's Chorus. If sports are more your thing, many areas have lgbt sports teams. The DC/Baltimore area offers everything from softball teams to hiking groups, including volleyball, soccer, running, ice hockey, bowling, and even scuba diving.
