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Single Black Sheep

Holiday Dating Survival Guide

By Josh Aterovis

Happy ChristmaHanuKwanzaakah!  The holidays are upon us, and with them, all the associated relationship expectations. The whole chestnuts roasting by the open fire and hanging shining stars upon the highest boughs crap is a lovely fantasy, but the reality is that the holidays can be extremely stressful times for couples — new or well-established — and even for us singletons. So here's my handy guide to surviving the holiday season broken into convenient sub-categories.

Put your hands up! It can be especially rough to be single around major holidays. Our culture seems to be built around the concept that only couples can truly enjoy things like Christmas, New Years, etc. Poppycock! For starters, just think of the money you're saving when you don't have to buy presents for a significant other! Plus, you don't have the added stress of having to match and/or surpass whatever they got you. "Oh. Gee, thanks for the socks. I hope you enjoy your new laptop."

Of course, for many, the real stress comes from having to attend all those damn holiday parties solo. Here's the key. Don't let it get to you. Own it. Just go and have a great time with your friends or family or coworkers. Okay, so that last one is really far-fetched, but it could happen. And who knows, you just might meet another single person at the festive event of the moment and hit it off. Chances are they'll be more interested in someone who is genuinely enjoying themselves than someone sulking quietly in the corner. Let's face it, you definitely won't meet anyone at home alone with your boxed wine and your cat, so RSVP with confidence. And don't worry about having someone to kiss at midnight at the New Year's Eve party. By that point, everyone will be so drunk you can just pick someone at random and have at.

That said, if the idea of showing up alone really scares the baby Jebus out of you, take your favorite gal pal. Just don't blame me when she ends up drunk and dancing on a table with her skirt hiked up around her hips.

Holidays can put a strain on any relationship, but they can be especially treacherous for new couples. First, there's the whole question of what to get each other. It's like that commercial airing right now where the guy gets his girlfriend a diamond necklace and she's all like, "I didn't think we were there yet." Which, first of all, you didn't think we were where, you ungrateful idiot? At the gift giving stage? Just say thank you! But yeah, there is always the pressure of giving appropriate gifts. How much is too much? What if it's not enough? There's a fine line between going overboard and not even getting on the same boat. It might be a good idea to sit down beforehand and discuss how much you want to spend on each other. That way, there's no confusion, no last-minute surprises, and, hopefully, no disappointment.

Then there's the question, do you know them well enough to get them something they'll actually like? You could try to covertly fish for ideas while carefully watching their face for signs of approval or utter disgust: "Man, you know what would look really good on you? A wat—...tie....manpur—....respirator?" Or you could just ask for a list of things they want.